The Cabbage Theory: Chapter Three

Chapter three
The allies

When I discovered all this I was obviously amazed and scared. Even so I never gave up and I started to spy the movimentations of these demoniac creatures. That was how I found out that the cabbage tactic for the “taken of the world” (as it is known between the cabbagologists – basically me) is to get hold of small sectors of our society and of some professionals of influence through whom they will burry deep in our minds the ideals of the cabbagocracy building a pro-cabbage block that would support them by the time of the final intervention.
The first sector to be taken was the animal sector but not all the wild life only the cats (sure you had already notice something strange about their behaviour) and the dogs (who tricked everyone). This connection was discovered after careful investigations: in some nights I used to go by car to drink a cappuchino when one time I was prevented from doing that by a group of cats and dogs that were surronding my car. This phenomenon happened a few times and I felt it was my duty to look for an explanation so I started to go to that place checking them out. I realised that they were getting together for reunions pro-cabbage and at the same time they were keeping me from getting out of the car and going on with my life. But the dear reader may ask why do those little animals want me not to drink cappuchinos. And I will answer that is the cabbages’ will. The cabbages were trying to prevent me from being awake and alert through cafein so that I wouldn’t be able to do my work of revealing them to the world. But it is useless because now I know everything. If they can get together “men’s best friend” and the CAT enemies since forever under the common gol of cabbagocracy imagine how big is their power...
The second group was the men in the constructions. Not any construction. The road construction. Not any roads. The public roads. In your innocence you probably think that those triangular signs saying “road in construction” and “danger” are there by chance? Of course not. During the day they signalise what they signalise but at night when nobody is working anymore they are still there... Why? Because the signs are phosphorescent clues providing the location of the places more easy to take over. The construction men hide in the holes made by themselves under excuses like sewage, natural gas and cable tv (who do they think they fool?) waiting for cabbage contact to get new orders and hear next strategies.
Imagine this scenario: it’s 22 hours and 17 minutes. I am sitting in the living room minding my own business and waiting for “The Lady of Destiny” to start. Around 22h22m it begins and I should be suspicious of that coincidence because everyone knows that it usually starts at most at 22h23m... First it looked like a regular episode and I was even having good clean fun with Mrs. Do Carmo’s crazyness and with the goofy Mr. Giovanni. Exactly this last character interpreted by the famous José Wilker caught my attention to certain things. At the 35th minute of programme (excluding commercial breaks) Giovanni says: “I would like to know where are my little cabbages...” Ah! The one that doesn’t see is the blind! Or worst the one who doesn’t want to see... I immediatly understood that all sector of brazilian soap operas was being controlled by the cabbages and this friendly reference to them has sweet and loyal vegetables was nothing but part of a plan based on the use of subliminar messages to convince the population that they represent no threat and are even “good people”. As if something like that would be possible... Attention! It is necessary to understand the dimensions of this industry which exports soap operas to the four corners of the world what regarding this episode may have disastrous consequencies (they are ruling our minds!) if we can’t fight against this super-intelligent evil beings.
To conclude I will just say one word or two about the syringemen. They have this unpleasant name because they are the ones who sell themselves to the cabbages. They are people of flesh and bone like the human beings however (concentration now) they constitute an army of mercenaries. It is well-known that the mutant cabbages because they are mutant have many abilities, abnormal to the common cabbage-individual. If this was not the case it would be unreasonable to come here yelling insanities like “The cabbages want to conquer our planet!” or something like that. The reality is that through an accidental neo-genectic transformation or through a pact with the devil (no one knows for sure) they are now mutants. Even though it doesn’t mean that we are doomed because there is still a little shred of hope based on some tiny flaws that these vegetables kept like not being able to go out during the day. While the ancient cabbages loved the sun the mutant cabbages love it also. The difference is that they are physically kept from showing their power while the sun shines being forced to act as regular cabbages. Just during the night can they reveal their truly diabolic nature. This is one of the main causes that lead the public to ignore the subject: people just don’t realise. This almost vampiric handicap made the cabbage hire humans to kill for money (blame the economic crisis) whoever is necessary mostly important and strategic-positioned characters or do you really think that the death of sister Lúcia was a simple coincidence, natural causes or because she was very very old? By murdering the little shepard they managed to desorientate the whole world making it’s apropriation easier. And if you are a skeptical what do you say about the Pope? That nice white-dressed man. Nobody is safe... The mercenaries act in the following way: they walk around public and private locations like if they didn’t have a care in the world stocking the victim without his or her knowledge. Then they pass by quiet as mice and launch their deadly weapon to the target’s leggs. What weapon is that? A single a syringe containing the most powerful and dangerous serum the world has ever seen made by the cabbages. It’s a greenish liquid (what colour should it be?) which has to be injected in the leggs and once the needle penetrates the flesh the letal poison flows to the veins making them explode and provoking immediate death. I was already confronted with one of these syringemen in my school. Luckily the traitor missed the target and we could breathe of relieve... but for how long?