The Cabbage Theory: Chapter Two

Chapter two
The theory

The cabbages have always been a very important aliment (aliment? Pffff....), “aliment” all over the world and mostly in the portuguese cookings. Who never heard thoose memmories of old people: “In my time we didn’t eat meat just in the afternoon of St. Never’s day. And fish was like a sardine for three people once in a while...It was more cabbages and potatos everyday.” Cabbages and potatos, my friend reader, cabbages and potatos. It was the time of the cabbage hegemony. They where in every cultivation field, in every home, in every plate. They were at the table with our families, with our children and we didn’t have any notion of what would come from there. It was this way for large centuries during which the cabbages dominated in silence all the other aliments and the human’ lives. They spred magic: they were princess.
In a short time with the development of some countries mostly USA people stopped having time to do all sort of things being one of the cooking. Big chains of fast-food emmerged. As we know, fast-food is rich in lots of things but cabbages are not its speciality... When we go to certain “restorants” that sell for example hamburgers we don’t ask “I would like to have the McCabbagex, large fries and that cabbage sauce that is wonderfull for the digestive system.” At least I don’t have this custom but I don’t blame who does. However let’s assume that the majority of the world’s population (like 99,999999...%) doesn’t say that sentence unless they are reading this treaty out-loud so that they can hear their own voice.
This way that “green food which name we shouldn’t pronounce” (they might hear...) thought: “Hey bobby, we are here and no one cares about us anymore”. If this can even make a person go mad what can we say about an entire population of cabbages already predisposed to fool around... The next step was a general reunion where the cabbages decided to get back their position in the food chain at any cost. After some brutal assassinations every cabbage bent down before cabbagocracy which objective is to dominate the world by attacking quietly the human race untill they get enough power to strike at us.